Remind me never to offer a prize on this blog ever again. Having written a blog post on an old Silver Moon Women’s Bookshop mug and tempted you into commenting on my lovely list of women writers, insurmountable hurdles presented themselves:
- Worst and most painfully I realized I love you all! Too late I became aware that I share the belief of the Dodo bird In Alice. “Everyone has won and all must have prizes.” I wanted to have a mug to send to all of you who commented including Colin who is in Australia but I only have two and I’m keeping one.
- I developed a severe case of #TPOP – yes that is Temporary Post Office Phobia. It’s a thing, didn’t you know?
- There was a heatwave
- I had no bubble wrap. You can’t send a mug out in the post without bubble wrap. No you can’t.
- I lacked a box to place my beautifully bubble wrapped mug in.
- The US Open started on Prime Amazon and so I began watching matches that go on a hell of a long time into the night especially if you are Rafa Nadal – two 5 setters so far and it’s very hot out there!
- I realized I am lazy.
- I looked at the cup and thought, ‘Oh God no one will want it.’
- I read two of the authors I had suggested for my hypothetical mug: Herta Muller – The Land of Green Plums and then Han Kang’s – Human Acts and I tell you they’re not jolly at all. Excellent certainly but when I say not jolly I mean not jolly in The Handmaid’s Tale sort of a way and the not jolliness lingered and made my #TPOP (see above) even worse.
- Then this morning I was reminded that it is Last Night of the Proms (bear with me here). The last time I visited my father before he died was the weekend of Last Night of the Proms. I left him to watch it on his own because I thought that Jerusalem followed by Land of Hope and Glory would be my complete undoing. He was pretty ill at the time. So he watched it and commented in the morning how marvelous it had been. He died exactly a week later. I then had a memory of him shortly after my mother died. He was waving me goodbye after a visit and he was saying apropos of making sure I hadn’t left anything behind. “I will lay down my life for my friend but for God’s sake don’t make me wrap a parcel.” So my point is, it’s genetic. This fear of parcel wrapping. It’s in my DNA. Dad it’s your fault.
Anyway, I’ve got over all that now. I gave you all a number put you in the aforementioned mug and drew out a number and Andrea has won. So if you’d like the mug Andrea please let me know your address and I will wing my way to the post office all #TPOP alleviated and sorry for the delay.
And to the rest of you thank you for your comments and I love you all and my gift to you (if you have Netflix) is watch Call My Agent, it’s hysterical and set in an actor’s agency in Paris. Also if anyone asks you, ‘Are you watching The Bodyguard or Vanity Fair,’ say ‘Actually I’m watching two hours of ‘Allo ‘Allo on the Yesterday channel.’ It will make you appear daringly retro in your viewing choices and loftily above the fray.
Finally, for no good reason at all here’s the moment when Morecambe and Wise had Des O’Connor on their show. Enjoy!